


Nobody's Fools

by headstudents



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, I'm Not Going To Lie, this is mostly James and Sirius being little shits, with very little of Peter and Remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-11 23:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13535070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headstudents/pseuds/headstudents
Summary: 'Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school.'  Or what did 'clever' really mean in their lives?





	Nobody's Fools

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a Marauders piece, so I thought that James and Sirius are a good start.
> 
> This is basically a bunch of short one-shots in no chronological order.

_quick to understand, learn, and devise or apply ideas; intelligent_

 

They were the cleverest in the school that one November afternoon after Muggle Studies when they rushed through the corridors from a classroom on the first-floor all the way to the Transfiguration Class 99 in the South Tower of the Castle.

Stumbling into the class out of breath they didn't even manage to find an excuse when McGonagall had deducted points for their tardiness. They had sat in their usual seat – a desk before Peter and Remus –  and McGonagall continued to explain the machinations of a Transforming spell.

Their young, restless minds in constant need of stimuli – which apparently current lesson didn't provide them with – took upon themselves to find a new source of an entrainment. For his own bad luck, Bertram Aubrey was on their hit list after the last Quidditch match and a rather crude remark towards their fellow seeker. Sirius had signalled to James to keep a lookout for a Professor and pointed his wand at Aubrey’s teapot, murmuring _inflatus_ , and blue light emanated from the tip. The boys began to snigger at the sight of Bertram panicking as his teapot had started to expand.

"Mr Potter! Mr Black!" McGonagall's voice roared through the classroom ultimately silencing them. "I assume since you’ve got time for amusements that you will have no difficulty presenting to the rest of the class your progress with the spell."

They exchanged glances as if asking each other who wanted to show off this time, and then James spoke up: "It would be my absolute honour Professor."

He cleared his throat, as he stared out into the audience. There was now complete silence in the classroom all eyes on him. Straightening up, he put with some effort a serious expression on his face. James had taken a deep breath and with confidence in his voice, he said the incantation while waving his wand thrice. A blue light emitted from it and the teapot that previously was on his desk had vanished and in its place, there was a small tortoise. No steam or spouts coming out of it, no teapot's willow-pattern noticeable on reptile's shell.

A smile of satisfaction had spread on James's face as he felt Sirius next to him, leaning forward to examine his spell work.

His mate let out low whistle impressed. "It’s a great work Professor. Worthy at least 5 points for Gryffindor," a smirk appeared on his already handsome face, unveiling a small dimple in his right cheek.

Later on, when they were retelling this story in Common Room, Sirius swore that he saw her lips twitch. However, McGonagall had just looked down at the pair of them, her expression unreadable behind her glasses.

"How about instead I will not dock points for disturbing your housemates' work," the boys dipped their heads, looking a little abashed. "Mr Black will reverse the spell that you had done to Mr Aubrey's teapot, and _you_ Mr Potter will ensure that Mr Aubrey will complete the transformation by the end of this lesson." Noticing how they both had opened their mouth in protest, she added: "I will hear no discussion about this, is that clear?"

Fully aware that this was a battle they couldn’t win, they both nodded and replied, "Yes, Professor McGonagall.”

 

* * *

 

_skilled at doing or achieving something; talented_

 

They were the cleverest in the school when they stood in the dusty room of a Shrinking Shak, waiting for the first lightning to strike.

"Are you positive there is going to be a storm today?” asked James, looking up at the sky through a crack of one of the boarded windows.

"Yes, because I pay attention during astronomy – unlike you”, Sirius replied. "Besides, you've got something better to do?” He paused, waiting for a response but he knew there would be none. "That’s what I thought.”

Silence fell between them as they waited for the storm to arrive but the sky remained stubbornly quiet.

"Where’s Peter?” James spoke up after a while .”He ought to be here. He drinks the first batch after all.”

"He had a date earlier on, so he’s going to be a little bit late.”

"A date?! With whom?”

"I don’t remember," Sirus shrugged. "Some bird from Ravenclaw I think. You can ask him once he gets here." He turned his head just enough to see James who tried to hide his frown. "Why the interest? Jealous?”

James shifted his expression, trying to appear nonchalant. "I just thought we agreed not to get sidetracked before this whole ordeal is done. If I’d known I would get myself a date as well.”

That had made Sirius burst out laughing; though as his mate promptly informed him, there was nothing to laugh at, but he kept realising biting chuckles.

"Fuck! Potter, who'd be mad enough to want to date you? You’re a right tosser and are in a semi-committed relationship with me. No girl wants to play the third wheel.” He grinned, and upon noticing the scowl that had been sent his way, he added, "Especially a girl like Evans.”

James stiffened and put his hands in his pockets before shrugging noncommittally, "Evans?” He harrumphed. ”What Evans’s got to do with this?”

"Like you don’t know.”

James opened his mouth in protest but he never got to come up with a retort because the sound of someone's footsteps reached both of their ears.

"Here he comes.’ Sirius said after he put his cigarette down.

A huge lightning bolt split the sky, startling the approaching boy. "Merlin, I was afraid I wouldn't make it. Sorry, I’m late mates. I was just –" Peter stressed.

"Yeah, yeah. We know where you were,” James interrupted, still glaring at Sirius "Let’s go and see if it worked.”

Boys had gathered around the centre of the room where a cauldron stood and inside of it was a freshly brewed potion that had turned blood-red after the first lightning strike.

Sirius looked around, taking their expressions in. "Well, I guess this is it.” He took a deep breath, "Are you gents ready to become an animagi?”

 

* * *

 

_showing skill and originality; ingenious_

 

They were the cleverest in the school during Christmas Hols lounging about in their dorm, having drinks and sharing a few laughs.

"...If I hadn't’ found that passage I'd be hanging in dungeons right now,” Peter swept his arms around as he finished the story, spilling remains of his cup on the floor.

His dormmates' laughter filled the air in the room as they watched him toppling off the bed, dragging the sheets and pillows down with him.

"Wormtail, you’re such fucking lightweight,” James snorted into his own drink. "You’re lucky you weren't this sloshed when Filch had been after you.”

"Or trees in the Great Hall would've got an entirely new set of balls this Christmas,” Sirius added, causing the boys to laugh even harder.

Soon the laughter died out and the foursome was left each to their own thoughts.

The silence was not a natural state in Gryffindor boy’s dorm, so James took upon himself to change that, „Pete, do you remember where that passage was?”

"Yeah..I-I think I do. Why?”, he asked still lying on the floor.

"Do you figure there’s more?” mused Black from his bed, propping himself on his elbows.

"More than the three you both had already found and the one Evans had accidentally blabbed about during last Prefects' meeting?” remarked Remus who until now was relishing the fresh air from the window seat.

"Just a thought,” James shrugged.

"No, it’s _brilliant_. We should write them down somewhere", suggested Black.

"You mean like a map?"

"I was thinking more of a list. But a map is not a bad idea, I s'pose."  Sirius grinned to himself, "You'd get to fulfil your dream of being an artist, Prongs.”

James flipped two fingers up to him in response.

"It would require some serious spellwork though," Remus voiced his concern.

"I think I might have a few ideas. Last night at the library I found a section in Charm's book about some interesting spells I think we could use," James managed to propose before stretching and letting out a loud yawn.

"Well then, let’s sober up and tomorrow morning we’ll get to work.”

" _Afternoon_. I beg the two of you, there is no way any of us will be up before twelve."

"As you wish, Moony," stated James but had turned to face Padfoot and mouthed 'morning' with a wink.

 

* * *

 

_sensible; well advised_

 

They were the cleverest in the school when they had woken up early on one chilled day of early December – way too early from Sirius’s perspective and headed towards Hogsmeade where they were supposed to meet with Remus and Peter.

Just as they were about to enter Three Broomsticks, they stopped short, noticing six students arguing about something intensely while heading towards the Hog's Head. Normally this wouldn’t draw their attention but those particular students were well known amongst the twosome Gryffindors as Gang of Slytherins. 

"What do you think was that about,” breathed out James, shivering in the cold.

The boy beside him shrugged, but a worried look appeared on his face as he stared at the disappearing boys, "Can’t tell, maybe they wanted something stronger than Rosemerta's butterbeer.”

"Or maybe they are up to something, and they had figured that in Hog's Head no one will disturb them.”

"Or maybe that.”

"So what do you think?” James asked.

"After you?” Sirius suggested, bowing his head in mock docility.

By the time they reached the tavern, Slytherins had already sat and ordered. But when Sirius and James peeked more closely through the window they took a notice of another person at their table.

They quickly divulged the identity of that mysterious figure as he took his hood off.

"Mulciber!" James gasped out already pulling his wand out.

"Wait, wait a damn second," Sirius stopped him, grabbing his arm. "We can't just burst in there."

"Why not?' James demanded.

"There is six – sorry – _seven_ of them or maybe even more than that. I can't see shite through this window. _Think_. There might be other students in there too. _Innocent_ student. We're good Prongs, but were not that good."

"Alright, so what do you suggest we do? We can't let him get away. You know what he did last time he was here," James argued.

"Let me just think dammit!" Sirius whispered harshly.

"We're wasting our time here Padfoot, let's get in while we still have the element of surprise."

"And they have the numbers," he pointed out. 

"Well then let's get someone who won't care about the numbers."

"Dumbledore?" Black suggested what seemed to him an obvious choice.

"Yeah, you stay here and keep a watch, try to distract them or something in case they'd want to leave."

"Alright," he agreed with him. "You go to the castle and notify Dumbledore. You know the password, right?”

"Obviously.” He took out the Head Boy's badge, "I’ll have you know, this comes with certain perks.”

Sirius stared for a short moment at the object in his mate's hand before giving him a small smirk, "I thought you'd lost it.”

"Nah, I had found it yesterday,” James said with pride in his voice.

"You mean Lily found it.”

"Sod off and keep a watch. I’ll be right back.”

 

* * *

 

_(informal) healthy or well_

 

They were the cleverest in the school, resting in Hospital Wing with the rest of the students after the sudden wave of sickness that spread through the school.

"Where do you two think you’re going, eh?”, Madame Pomfrey stood behind them, her hands on her hips.

Both dark-haired boys stopped in the tracks. The shorter one slowly turned his head to look their matron straight in the eyes and spoke up, "We just feel better ma'am..."

" ...So we figured that there is no point for us to stay here..."

"...And take someone else's place." 

"Especially since everyone is so ill and there might be more coming, so empty bed surely will come in handy," concluded lastly Sirius.

"Not _everyone_ Mr Black, just almost entire Slytherin Quidditch and of course poor Mr Aubrey," she pointed at the whimpering lump on the bed. "Whatever was done to him.”

Boys nodded, feigning sympathy. Unfortunately for them, Poppy Pomfrey was not a person to be jerked around.

"You two honestly expect me to believe that your miraculous recovery is no way connected to all of this," she gestured around the room with a hand. 

"How could it be connected, ma'am?" they said simultaneously.

Pomfrey narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to speak but a sound of distress coming from Bertram's bed interrupted her. She turned with the intention to inspect it but not before warning the boys one last time. "I don't have time for you. Off you go, but don't think I will not report you two to Professor McGonagall."

Sirius and James darted off the room, snickering to themselves madly.

 

* * *

 

They thought they were the cleverest trusting their best friend. He turned out to be even more clever than them, and they both ended up dead.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic looked completely different when I had written it, but then while I was proofreading it I re-wrote the whole thing.
> 
> Also, the process of becoming an animagi is insane??! Truly properly insane. Kudos to these boys for all the work they went through.
> 
> Also also, I didn't proofread this version and I could lie to you and say I'm going to in the future, but I won't. So there probably are some mistakes here, but hopefully nothing too jarring.


End file.
